I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
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Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
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I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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