They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Randomize
