Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
Randomize
