u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize