very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
