lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Randomize
