ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Slut skills are useful in every country.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
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