Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I met the friendliest cop last night
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
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