Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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