That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
