Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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