My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Vodka?
Forever.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize