the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
