you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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