absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
