I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
