Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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