Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
