So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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