dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
