I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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