I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
