He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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