he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Can I color on your dick again?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
