hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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