Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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