Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
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