my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
