Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Tell her she can't have a vagina
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
