She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
