My friends, they love my intelligence
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
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