didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Randomize
