Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
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