in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
