can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
