I'm really into asian looking animals
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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