whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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