We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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