can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize