DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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