I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
