So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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