I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
