No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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