I understand Curling. That high.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
