2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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