For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
