My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
