Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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