Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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