just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
