She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
Randomize
