He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
