Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize