If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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