She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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