East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
