the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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