We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
