I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
