all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
