Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
