you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Randomize
