may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
