# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Randomize
