singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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