Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Randomize
