I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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