i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
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