so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
