i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
