i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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