Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
