My girlfriend figured out who you are.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Randomize
