You're completely useless in the revolution.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
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